SURPRISE! SURPRISE! The news of a Gavin and Stacey reunion has sparked a flurry of salivating social media posts, renewed respect for James Corden and (most probably) a surge in omelette sales. Although we’ve got to wait until Christmas Day to watch the one-off episode, there’s no rules barring the world from speculating what might be occurring in the world of Gav, Stace, Smithy and Nessa. We won’t lie to you, here’s five things we’d like to happen.
- Doris’ funeral: With most of the Gavin and Stacey cast set to return, one character that sadly won’t be seen is Gwen’s salacious septuagenarian neighbour, Doris. With a surprisingly salty lexicon and even saucier outlook on life, ‘Dor’ ensnared many a man and even tried it on with Gavin on numerous occasions. Alas, actress Margaret John passed away in 2011, but a scene giving Doris a wonderful send-off would provide some searing pathos. Whether Doris’ horrible daughter Moira and pothead boyfriend Scott show up, however, remains to be seen…
- Nessa and Smithy’s wedding: The three series of Gavin and Stacey usually revolved around a big event – Gavin and Stacey meeting and getting married, Nessa giving birth to Smithy’s baby, Nessa almost marrying Dave Coaches. Thus, it would be no surprise to see a landmark occasion taking precedence in the reunion episode. The most likely would be Nessa and Smithy, after years of tumultuous, torrid exchanges, tying the knot. It would also give Dirtbox, Budgie, Fingers and the gang a chance for one hell of a stag do.
- Bryn comes out: There’s no way you’re getting me out of the closet tonight! It’s never been confirmed whether Bryn has any homosexual desires, although it’s strongly hinted due to his topless workouts with Smithy, intense adoration of Gavin, and his undying love for Sex and the City. In today’s liberal and more accepting era, perhaps a long-closeted Bryn now feels the time is right for him to accept who he is and begin living life as a modern, gay Welshman. A scene where Bryn swaps the delights of MySpace for Grindr could provide some hilarity.
- Pete and Dawn separate: Pam’s best friend Dawn has endured long-suffering strife with her husband Pete. From his gauche engagement ring to the thwarted attempt at a three-way, the couple were always just a few words away from a full-throated argument. In the Christmas special, Pete has moved into Gavin’s old room, convinced Dawn – now living with a trendy Ghanian fashion designer twenty years younger than her – will take him back any day. However, Pam is getting increasingly annoyed by Pete’s presence, as she harbours turning Gavin’s old room into a walk-in wardrobe.
- Bryn and Jason revisit the fishing trip: That fishing trip, ay, Bryn, when will it end? The infamous angling adventure cropped up numerous times throughout the show, exaggerated and accentuated to depths that proved unfathomable (as Dave Coaches said, “it defies gravity”). In the Christmas special, Bryn and Jason go to the Welsh countryside to find a special tree for Gwen’s living room. While there, they help two fishermen cut adrift in a lake, but are then caught by Nessa and Stacey in an uncompromising position, sparking a whole new set of rumours. Sounds fishy? It could happen.
There are so many other conspiracy theories being thrown around. A Robert Mugabe guest appearance? Will Gwen get a better Christmas present off Nessa than the Bounty chocolate she received last time? After stringent medical advice, has Pam legitimately turned vegetarian? I know the answer…it’s Kriss Akabusi.
Words by Sam Lambeth