Bloody Good Fun: ‘Vampire Therapist’ Review

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©Little Bat Games

*Disclaimer: Little Bat Games provided a code for Vampire Therapist for this review. With that said, all opinions expressed in this review are those of the author.

Little Bat Games delivers a delightfully silly visual novel in the form of Vampire Therapist alongside some genuinely good advice to sink your teeth into.

So, a cowboy vampire walks into a bar. A German bar, to be exact, run by another ancient vampire Andromachos, who also happens to know a thing or two about cognitive behavioural therapy (or CBT).

Vampire Therapist is an indie comedy game, in which our main character Sam Walls, an all-American vampire, seeks to help his undead peers face their demons through talk therapy. The narrative starts with Sam describing how he overcame his dark, murderous past. After leaving his gang and learning about life from mortals, he ends up at a German nightclub run by Andromachos or “Andy”, an ancient vampire who once had a fling with Roman Emporer Marcus Aurelius. 

Andy acts as both a mentor and a therapist to Sam, aiding him in starting his own practice. Informed by professionals and real psychological theory (as the game tells the player in the prologue), it’s a surprisingly educational experience with often profound dialogue and interesting philosophical themes. 

Gameplay

The gameplay involves delivering CBT to a colourful cast of characters, pointing out unhelpful thinking patterns, or “cognitive distortions” – which vampires are especially prone to. My personal favourite was a distortion coined “Nosferatu thinking”: seeing the world in black and white. After learning about these with Andromachos, the player must listen to their vampire patients’ woes and identify their unhelpful thought patterns. 

Basing gameplay on real psychological theory is a risky move. It could have resulted in an experience that focused more on education than entertainment, but I actually enjoyed this aspect of the game and never found it too preachy. Identifying unhelpful thought patterns during therapy sessions made for a more authentic experience (as therapy simulators go). It also somewhat grounded the outlandish cast of characters like the snobbish Italian noblewoman, and art patron, Isabella d’Este – whose struggles with enforced gender roles and self-critical thoughts made her more relatable and sympathetic.

In addition to the therapy gameplay, there were a few surprise mini-games. The first one that involved biting the necks of two German Spike and Drusilla wannabes that Sam meets at the beginning of the game got a laugh from me. However, I expect the minigames might not be for everyone as they don’t really add much to the story. I especially these humorous little touches, like staying in a “smart coffin” with a TV and using “V-Mail”, which enhanced its charm all the more. 

©Little Bat Games

Characterisation

Its unique mixture of profound moments and campy over-the-top characters risks being tonally confusing, but, for the most part, ‘Vampire Therapist’ manages to strike a good balance. The silliness, which often borders on camp, complements the more serious side, ensuring that the player doesn’t get too bogged down with therapy-speak.

Brilliant voice acting further solidifies this, as the actors lean into the more humorous elements and whacky stereotypes and really sell it. Whilst the wacky patients might have been the highlight for other players, I especially liked Sam’s voice acting. The main character was a particularly challenging role, but he successfully remained a bit more relatable to the player and slightly less zany than the rest of the cast whilst still leaning into the camp and offering a distinct and unique characterisation.

Overall Enjoyable and Interesting

It should be noted that there are a few visual glitches during transitions which can be a bit frustrating. Some more sexual jokes that a lot of the vamps were making at the expense of poor Sam also didn’t quite land and could feel a bit out of place.

However, Vampire Therapist is an enjoyable and interesting experience. Vampire Therapist ultimately offers both genuinely funny moments and sincerity, as it explores the grey areas of “unlife”.

Score – 4/5

Words by Alice Bennett


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