Seeing many brave women share their stories the past week has been both distressing and upsetting, but it’s given me the strength to share my own. I have an endless list of uncomfortable encounters with men. From catcalling to being threatened via message, I am now petrified to be out alone at night. However, one experience has stayed with me and makes be sick to my stomach to this day.
After a night out I allowed a guy into my home, where I felt comfortable and safe. I had too much to drink and collapsed into bed. I felt sick and all I wanted to do was sleep but instead, I was being kissed and touched. I told him that I didn’t feel great and asked if we could go to sleep but he proceeded to get on top of me, trying to take it further. I was not in any state to consent to what was happening to me and I never did. I was able to get out of his grasp and ended up in my flat mate’s room bawling my eyes out. Luckily her boyfriend was there to remove him from the flat.
I blamed myself for what happened this night because I allowed him into my home. But no means no and this was not my fault.
Words by Codie Bullen