Ahead of her debut at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, with her new show Call Me Crazy, The Indiependent caught up with the Emmy-winning writer, director, creative producer and filmmaker, Olivia Ormond.
Call Me Crazy takes a complex look at a woman from the inside out, after the medical system fails to find the cause behind her long-term pain, let alone acknowledge that the pain exists. She is driven to extremes to find answers and to be heard, leaving her questioning everything about the world around her.
Within the interview, we discuss the origins behind Call Me Crazy, how Olivia’s own personal experiences with medical gaslighting and the realities of the gender health gap continues to fuel her work and unpack Call Me Crazy’s recent success at the Hollywood Fringe Festival.
THE INDIEPENDENT: First of all, could you tell us a bit about the origins behind Call Me Crazy?
Olivia: Unfortunately, it is a true story. I started experiencing chronic pain about seven years ago now and then I tried to find a diagnosis, which has taken me many, many years and I am still experiencing chronic pain.
So, the origin is that journey, going to doctors and not being believed, then being given treatment that doesn’t work or being passed on from doctor to doctor. I wasn’t really taken seriously, whether that be because I am a woman or because my pain isn’t as visible or because the doctors couldn’t find the answers doctors love to be right!
So, if they can’t find the answer or the thing that is making you in pain they just pass you off as, “oh she’s making it up” or “oh she is crazy”. So, I had nowhere else to put this story and so it became Call Me Crazy.
The INDIEPENDENT: You have spent a lot of time behind the scenes as a writer, director and documentary maker. How does it feel putting yourself under the spotlight and how did such a big change come about?
Olivia: It’s so incredibly scary! My intention was not to put myself out there onto the stage. I initially wanted to write a film based on this experience and essentially give my pain to somebody else. I tried for a long time to write that piece of work and it just didn’t work.
The main character never felt authentic enough; it never felt like she was experiencing the pain that I was going through. So, I love theatre and thought, Why don’t I just write this as a one-woman show, as a monologue because that’s what is in my head. Then I realised, Oh I actually have to perform this and because that was never part of my original plan, it makes it all the more scary.
I did my first run of the show in Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago and it was the most horrifying, yet gratifying moment. I was terrified to get up on that stage for the first time, then when I left I felt so validated and free because it’s not just my story anymore, I’m sharing it with the world—apologies for the cliché!
The INDIEPENDENT: Nothing wrong with a cliche, so building on from that, you have spent a lot of time in filmed media. Do you find that theatre is massively different?
Olivia: Yes, 100%. I have always loved theatre as an audience member because it is so in the moment and raw. When you are experiencing characters in filmed media, there is a screen between you. So, for the show, the big benefit of telling the story on stage is that it’s not just people sitting on their couch listening to me, they are in the room with me, whilst I scream at them “Am I crazy?”.
Basically, I am an unreliable narrator and at the end of the show the audience has to decide if she is crazy or not. Being able to do that in the same room as the people you are trying to tell the story to is such a better experience than doing it behind the screen—I hope that answers your question.
THE INDIEPENDENT: It absolutely does! I can imagine being so close to your audience must be quite cathartic?
Olivia: It’s cathartic but it is still equally terrifying. I can’t always make eye contact with the audience because the lighting is different in every show. However, when I do make eye contact with the audience, I can’t help but think, oh shit, I am actually telling you this story.
You know it’s strange because it could be a fifty year old man that I am telling about my pain. So, that makes it scary but also fun because I can make eye contact with other women and hear their laughter and their gasps and feel their reaction.
The INDIEPENDENT: Well, Edinburgh is no stranger to these risk taking performances. Is this part of the reason you are bringing the show to the Fringe Festival?
Olivia: I have known about the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for many years, even before I was in the film and theatre industry, so when I wrote this I was adamant that it needed to be performed on the fringe. Edinburgh is the most famous, prestigious fringe festival in the world as far as I am concerned.
It is also a place that is incredibly community driven which is highly relevant to Call Me Crazy because it is a piece that is very much connection driven and so the Edinburgh Fringe felt like the perfect place to get people to watch, enjoy and ultimately connect with my story.
The INDIEPENDENT: You have recently finished performing Call Me Crazy at the Hollywood Fringe Festival. Will your performance differ in any way when transferring to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. For instance, changes to make the show land better with different cultures?
Olivia: I don’t know so much about cultural changes to the show. Maybe after the first couple of performances I may make some minor changes. The thing is, before Call Me Crazy I never really saw myself as an actor or performer, whereas now I certainly do. So, after each performance I go a step further and push the boundaries even further than I did during the previous show and that makes each performance more fun.
During the LA run, I felt that I was doing the same thing every time I was on the stage. However, you definitely adapt yourself based on whether you have a hot or cold audience. You can feel when certain jokes land and when they don’t and this pushed me as a performer, for sure.
The INDIEPENDENT: Going back to the origins of the story, as you said, you have drawn on your own experiences with medical gaslighting and the realities of the gender health gap. What would you like to see change and what are the steps that you feel need to be taken so that others don’t have to experience what you have been through?
Olivia: I would love to see women getting believed the first time they go to a medical professional. I think medical research into women’s health needs to be funded [and] individual doctors need to believe women as much as they believe men. However, I do think this is more of a cultural shift that needs to happen, as a society we need to believe women more and women still need to be respected in the same way people respect men.
The major practical step that needs to be taken though is definitely funding. Conditions such as endometriosis and chronic pain are not being researched because there isn’t enough money in the pot to go around, to help give faster, more efficient diagnosis’ and provide more effective treatments. If money is put behind research into women’s health, people will start to listen.
The INDIEPENDENT: It is clear that women’s physical but also mental health is such an important theme for you in your work and one that, in general, we are seeing covered more frequently in many different types of media. How do you negotiate being as realistic as possible in your storytelling, whilst remaining sensitive to your audience?
Olivia: This might not sound great, but I am not sure I was sensitive to the audience when I wrote this because I wanted it to be as real as possible. All of this is true, everything in the show are things that I haven’t been able to say aloud, things that I have thought that might scare people away, these are all real things that I have experienced. So, when writing the show I thought why would I dilute my own story?
There is one-specific line that is gut wrenching and actually might not present me in the best of lights, that I considered removing from the show but a woman came up to me after the show and said “this is a line that I will keep with me for the rest of my life”. Feedback like that is so validating. If other women can resonate with my words, the good and the bad, then I am happy to do it.
The INDIEPENDENT: On the topic of audiences, what do you hope audiences will get from watching Call Me Crazy?
Olivia: I really want women to identify with the show, that is top priority and I want them to know that they are not alone if they feel silenced. When you are going through medical gaslighting, it is so isolating and that’s why the show is structured the way it is, just me on a stage, I am not talking to anybody else, so I capture how isolating this reality is.
I also want to include men in this conversation too. I have had many men come to the show and say afterwards, “I had no idea that this is what women experience”. The show talks about women and identity as well, it talks about eating disorders and sexual violence, so it opens up men’s eyes to the whole experience of being a woman.
THE INDIEPENDENT: Beyond your own lived experiences, is there anything or anyone else you take inspiration from? You said yourself you’re an avid theatre watcher.
Olivia: Well, Phoebe Waller Bridge’s Fleabag is the north star for the show. The stage presence is very similar, just me and a chair, very simple but very effective. Waller Bridge is just so nuanced, so although I take a different approach to her, I hope to have that same power to make women feel seen and sane.
The INDIEPENDENT: Finally, I know that you are planning on touring Call Me Crazy in New York and London, but what’s next after that?
Olivia: That’s the hope! I would love to bring the show to London. I have been to the Soho Theatre so many times and that’s where Phoebe [Waller Bridge] got started as well. So, the dream is to go there but to also bring it to audiences in New York.
I am from Connecticut, so bringing it home and doing a run there would be awesome. I have a feature film script that is attached to the show too, so bringing it to the screen, like Fleabag did, that would be the hope as well. After I wrote the play, I felt it made more sense and I felt I could start to envision the story moving beyond the stage.
For me, it is really all about continuing the story and hoping this play opens up doors for other women and myself to keep telling stories about women for women. We still see a lot of female-led stories with all-male creative teams. It is important for women to keep saying the unsayable, talking about the good and the bad, talking about the issues that others won’t talk about.
Olivia Ormond’s Call Me Crazy will run at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival from Friday 1st August until Saturday 9 August at the Clover Studio at Greenside @ Riddles Court.
Interview Conducted by Cory Gourley
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