★★★★
There is only one appropriately devilish way to end a treat-filled Halloween weekend: at a burlesque show. Thankfully, the finale to The Courtyard Theatre’s first-ever Horror Festival is a night of Halloween Burlesque, led by host duo Dolly Dark and J’ai Me. They take the audience through a series of performances that capture all the spiciest ingredients of a night of thrilling burlesque. That is, after J’ai Me has removed his Medieval, sack-like robe to reveal a silk white corset and shirt.
Coy vampire Lilith Valentine is the night’s first act, complete with fangs, feathers, and an all too mesmerising glittery red and black lingerie set. She charms the audience with her sensuality, but her slightly reserved demeanor leaves them wanting more.
Dolly and J’ai Me declare that the second performer is a spirit whom they summoned 30 seconds prior, so god only knows what kind of ghostly ghoul is about to take to the floor. Daisy Quinn, however, is far from ghoulish. The night’s jester is dazzling perfection, with immaculate comedic timing in every garment she tries to remove and every “painful” flick of her braces. She hops, spins, and shimmies with seductive athleticism and electrifying humour.
The laughter continues with Tom Towelling, the maths teacher-cum-comedian, who wastes no time whipping out his distorted microphone to serenade the room and put on a very respectable stand-up routine, which culminates in him wanting to re-enter the stage in three different ways. This is a highly amusing ruse to build up to his own striptease, in which he rips off three pairs of bog-standard boxers. So bog-standard, in fact, that when he throws a pair into the crowd, they are thrown right back at him, much to the hilarity of the audience.
Six-faced Apocalyptrixx is possibly the creepiest act of the night, with chaos seeping from her wide eyes as her eerily choreographed movements reveal hand-made faces dangling from her body. By the end of the first act, Dolly and J’ai Me are starting to lose some of their steam, but they always hit the sweet spot when it comes to stage exits.
Cowgirl Hailey Hellalicious brings in Act Two of Halloween Burlesque with an unbelievable amount of fire. She may be shot-in-the-head dead, but this burlesque performer positively oozes seduction and charisma. As soon as she bounces up from the splits, her character really comes alive, and every time she flashes a grin at the audience, it becomes a challenge to abide by the “stay in your seat” rule.
Horned-up Pixie Fortune next takes the night into a mystical woodland realm, and although she holds herself with severe ethereal beauty, her shaking nerves unfortunately break through her performance.
First impressions are fickle things, but when it comes to Phyllida, the serial killing piano singer, they are terrifyingly accurate. From the moment she first smiles at the audience, the vibes are clear: this is a chillingly charming villain, one who spends most of her performance singing about ex-lovers and where in her house their limbs have become ornaments.
What better way to follow howls of laughter at ex-lovers’ teeth in soup than with one of the hosts transforming into a werewolf? After a few rounds of increasingly suggestive pet play with co-host Dolly, J’ai Me finally performs their own burlesque striptease as Little Red Riding Hood undressing into a furry nipple tassled, primal beast. It is a hot, victorious final performance to a most pleasurable night of burlesque entertainment.
Words by Lucy Dunnet
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